Field Trip to the hospital

Well, this was just about the best idea ever. It made a HUGE difference for Henley. We have learned that when we can put Henley in a leadership role, it helps her to overcome some of her fear. So we told Henley that since Haven & Zane had never seen an MRI machine or she was going to need to "show them the ropes" and give them a tour. Honestly, she has never "seen" an MRI machine either since she has always been asleep, but she has way more experience in hospitals than the other two and so she took on the role confidently. 

Haven and Zane were more willing to jump up on the table and try it out. Zane was especially excited about the "movie goggles" they had. We told them they could all get a turn, hoping that Henley would actually get on the table and we could get her to have a non-fearful experience with the MRI machine. She did great and we all felt much better after this was all over. 

Tips for other parents: If this is something your child ever has to do, I would HIGHLY recommend #1 doing it at a children's hospital if you can, and #2. Ask them about taking a tour beforehand. I have learned from several child life specialist that if you can help them walk through the experience with a stuffed animal or themselves it helps because they know what to expect and they can go into a procedure knowing that they will come out okay. We also use a lot of simple terms with Henley when we talk about procedures. For MRI's we tell her that it's time to take her "special pictures" of her head instead of using the word MRI since that means nothing to children. We are very honest with her when something is going to hurt or she is going to have to have blood taken. I will prep her beforehand and say. Remember we are going to see Dr. R. Remember, he is just a "talking doctor" (which means we just talk about stuff, no ouchies happen in their office).  I tell her too, "Hey, we have to go get some blood taken because the doctors need some information and your blood has the answers they need. Yes, its going to hurt, and that TOTALLY stinks big time, but afterward we can go do something fun. Would you like to stop for Ice Cream or Cupcakes?" This way she knows she can trust me and I am always going to be truthful with her. She also knows that I am her warrior mama bear and that I wouldn't let anyone do anything to her that was not for a really good reason. She knows that I am on HER side and that, she and I are working WITH the doctors to make her healthy. Lots of kids who deal with medical stuff feel left out of the decision, they often feel blindsided when adults don't tell them things because they think kids don't understand. I am here to tell you that THEY DO! Henley remembers things from when she was two years old, and how we handled things and set the stage for her then has made a difference in her perception when she is seven.

During our MRI Field trip, we made sure to praise all of the small things she freely chose to participate in. She certainly held back and was more than willing to let her siblings go first, and they obliged because they didn't have any previous fear of the situation like she does. Once the other two had gone we asked her if she wanted a turn. We asked her every step "Would you like to put the movie goggles on so you can see the movie?" She shook her head. "okay, well you have to lay down like Zane did so that they work." She laid down and we let her sit there for a minute knowing that we were all right there and that there was zero pressure for her to do any more than that. Then we said, while you are watching a movie is it okay if you ride in and out of the machine like Zane did?" She was reluctant but agreed. The operator slowly moved the bed in, waited a minute and then moved her slowly out of the machine. We asked her if she was ready to get up and she said "yes" so we took the googles off and let her hop off. With each step we call this "collecting positive experiences". We don't ever push her, but just do what she is willing to do and if she gets stuck on a step, we stop and talk through it. I will ask her "Would you like to see mommy do it first?" or "How about we let Draff (stuffed animal) try first" Generally kids don't even know what they are afraid of, they are just afraid, so we have learned that if we can take very small steps and collect positive experience along the way then she feels so much less anxious about the situation the next time. For Henley this works, I realize all kids are not like her, but we have certainly had to learn a lot about helping her to overcome fearful experiences.