Holy Presence

Not long after we got home from New York we were having a conversation one night at bedtime with the kids. The conversation turned to baptism and the kids all responded differently. Henley immediately said, "Mommy, I want to get baptized." A little shocked because of her age and the fact that we had not really talked about it with her directly, I hesitated. We talked a little bit and she seemed pretty sure of herself, but the "she's so young" kept intruding my thoughts.  I knew that because of her recent surgery and the restriction of not being able to have her head submerged in water would be the end of the discussion. I told her "Well, you can't actually do that right now anyways because of your head. You are not allowed to get it wet until it heals." She said, "okay, when my head heals, can I get baptized?" I responded with "We will keep talking about it." 

When asking the other kids what they thought about baptism, Haven's response was the same as it has been the last year "I'm not ready yet." We have always told her that when she decides she is ready to let us know and that we would always be there for questions if she had them. For over a year she has spent time talking and learning about baptism at home, BSF and in Bible Class at church. Haven is a processor type so we knew it would be a while for her and have been more than willing to let her come to that decision all on her own. Zane, on the other hand, said: "Can I wear goggles when I get baptized and swim in the water afterward?" Uhm. No. Clearly, you are not ready. Bedtime commenced and we moved on. 

The topic has come up since then and Henley has remained sure about her conviction to want to get baptized, but again, the fact that her head has not healed has been a restriction. When we got word that Henley's sweet little friend Madeline would be baptized this past Sunday I knew it was going to come up again. Sure enough, we went to the baptism and in the car on the way home from church Henley said: "Mommy, I want to get baptized." We asked her "Why?" and her response was "I want to receive the Holy Spirit and I want to follow God." I don't really know how you argue with that. Haven then piped up and said, "I think I'm ready to get baptized too." We continued to talk about it the remainder of the day and have talked about it since. 

This afternoon after school I had all of the kids take a rest time because it was clear they all needed some downtime when they got home. I went up into Henley's room to talk to her and asked her if she wanted to talk more about baptism and asked her if she had any questions for me. She said "No" and so I asked her again if she really felt like she was ready to be baptized and asked her if she understood what it meant to be baptized. We talked more and it was pretty clear to me that in her mind it was a simple decision. You either choose to follow the Lord or choose to follow Satan. 

I talked with Adam last night about this and said to him that it does not really surprise me that Henley might see this as such a simple decision with all of the things that she has come through this year. I 1000% believe in the power of prayer and I have seen miracles first hand. We have had quite literally thousands of people praying over Henley. Praying for her peace and for the Lord's comfort to be upon her. I know that I personally have prayed specifically for God to reveal himself to her in mighty ways through all of this and I also prayed specifically for the Lord to be with her during the surgery and to let her know that she would not be alone. I prayed specifically for God to whisper in her ear and give her comfort and peace during her surgery. I, along with many of you begged the Lord to be the one performing her surgery in that operating room that day, and I believed the Lord when He told Adam and I both on separate occasions that she was going to be okay and that we just needed to trust Him with her. 

So today when I was up in her room we were talking about what it means to listen to God. I explained that the Lord often whispers and we have to really be listening to hear what He has to say to us. Out of my own curiosity, I asked her if she has ever heard God speak to her. She looked at me and very matter of factly said "Yes." I asked her to tell me more about that and she proceeded. She said, "He spoke to me during my surgery....both of them." I said did you hear him out loud?" She said, "No, I didn't hear him in my ears, but He talked to me in my head." I asked, "What did He say to you?" She said, "He told me to be brave." Barely able to breathe at this point and trying to hold in my emotion I asked her if that was all and she said "Yes."...... "He stayed with me after you left. He was there while I was sleeping. He was there the whole time." At this point, I could hardly stop the tears and was trying to keep it together. I didn't want her to feel like what she said made me upset or that I was sad in any way. It's nearly impossible to explain the depth of emotion I was feeling so I just tried to pull it together. Henley changed topics and went on as if it what she had just said wasn't anything other than fact. She asked if she could read a book in her quiet time and so I told her I was going to let her do that and that I would be downstairs. I quickly came downstairs and burst into tears of thankfulness. Thankfulness for so many answered prayers. 

When Adam got home from work I asked her to tell him what she had explained to me about that day. She did and I asked her a few more questions. This is where it got even more interesting. I asked Henley "So where was the Lord during your surgery?" She ran her right hand up and down about 2 inches from her side and said "He was right here. He was here the whole time." My next question was almost a trick question. I said, "Were you lying on your back or on your face when He was there with you?" Without skipping a beat she replied "My face." Adam and I just looked at each other in shock. I minute or two went by and I said, "When mommy and daddy were there with you were you laying on your back or on your face?" Again, without skipping a beat she replied "My back." 

See, here is the interesting part. Adam and I were able to literally walk into the O.R. and physically lay her down on the operating table that day. When we laid her down she was on her back. She was completely drugged up and just about totally out before we walked out of the room. Adam and I stood on her left side and prayed over her. I prayed that the Lord would stand in my place and be there with her while she was in surgery. We watched them as they put all of the monitors on her heart and all over her body and just before they put her under we walked out the doors. 

Once we walked out they flipped her over onto her tummy and placed her head in the stabilization position and began the surgery. The place that I would have been standing when she was flipped on her tummy was her right side....which is where she said the Lord was standing. 

The morning of Henley's surgery at 6:15 am I got this text from a friend: Leslie - the Lord woke me up in the night and told me to pray for you. He gave me a vision of himself hovering over Henley during her surgery. He was a bright light of presence. He also had a fully armed angel standing guard at the door of the operating room. I know today and right at this moment, he is with you all. I pray that you feel His presence overwhelming you as He sings his songs of peace and love over you. We love you and are interceding in prayer. -Elizabeth Miller

I know that Elizabeth didn't know the magnitude of that text the moment she sent it, but it acts as a total confirmation for us on many levels. Certainly, Henley never read that text or knew about my specific prayers over her while she was on the operating room table. She doesn't know what others prayed specifically, she just knows that her Heavenly Father was there with her. He didn't need a million words to calm her spirit, his presence and two words were enough. "Be Brave". In her mind following The Lord is a simple choice, it's not complicated, it's what she knows at her core to be the right thing for her. 

So the next question is when? We are not sure, and I need to call her surgeon to make sure we are in the clear with her incision especially after the setback of her infection which has now healed. We are talking about when this will happen and it's likely Haven and Henley will choose to do this together. We could not be more proud of our girls and we are beyond thankful for the ways that you have prayed over our family. Thank you is just not enough.