4 Years Ago Today....

This day is just another day for most people. This day has been quite a day of reflection for me. August 12th. My Grandfather's Birthday is today, one of my cousins. 2 days from mine, another hot day in Texas. Days before the end of summer and the day and the start of a new school year. No big deal, just another day. But then I sat down and was alone with myself for a minute and it hit me like a hurricane. A tsunami of emotions came over me. 4 years ago TODAY. August 12, 2010. The events of that day have been permanently etched in my mind. The day I got that phone call that forever changed my life. Changed the way my heart beat, changed me as a wife and a mother and quite frankly a person. I have never been the same. Most of the time I am thankful for the changes, but some of the time I miss who I was. I miss the me that didn't think about my children's mortality. 

But God has been so good. He is such a sweet God and He knew. He knew what we could handle on that day 4 years ago. He let us experience all we could handle in that moment, and every time I think about that day I am so thankful He didn't let us have more of the information that was to come. The diagnosis "incurable brain disorder". Chiari. I had no idea what that word even meant....now I do. God knew all along. He gave us the information first and gave us time to get used to what that might look like. He gave us time to process the information before the symptoms came. He gave me some amazing mentors and women in my life to help me navigate the road before us. He knew that a year later we would start to deal with so much more and needed to have our feet in some well cured concrete. What a wonderful and loving God He is. I have felt like we have been in a period of rest with Henley, with just a few hiccups along the way. The past year has been better than the one before, and that year better than the one before it. I have felt at peace with where we are. 

Currently, I feel like I am reeving up of something. I am not sure what that is, but its just a feeling I have. Maybe everyone feels this way before school starts. Maybe its other areas of my life, maybe its with Henley's medical stuff. I am not sure, I just feel this feeling inside and feel like I am being prepared for something.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,

– Psalm 16:8-9 (NIV)