Puzzle Pieces

I work really hard to make sure that Henley feels like she is informed. I am always trying to stop down and be sure she is part of the conversation and that she in on this journey WITH me and not just in the car of her life that I happen to be driving at the moment. Most days are running at top speed and I’m mentally managing what feels like to be a million things at once. When I slow down and look at my children I am met with their simplistic life. They aren’t in a hurry. They aren’t anxious about deadlines or all the to-do’s. They are right here in this moment right in front of them.

Tonight as I was putting Henley to bed I said “okay, so tomorrow…..” and she interuppted and said “eye appointment”.

She knows.

She’s paying attention.

She’s taking it all in.

Did I even tell her about this appointment? Oh my goodness! this is a big one. I need to prepare her for it. So I stop. Slow down, sit beside her bed and we start talking.

“So tomorrow we are going to go have a CT scan of your eyes to see if we can get some more information about why the left one is having some trouble.”

“Okay”

“It’s not long like the MRI’s, this one should be pretty quick, but it’s going to give us a picture that we need to help us figure out the problem. Kind of like a piece of a puzzle that we need to get the puzzle figured out. Does that make sense?”

“Not really”

“Well, think of our health like a great big puzzle with lots of pieces. You know how when you put together a great big puzzle, it helps when you have a few people helping to put it all together. Some people organize the pieces by color or shape, some people look at the puzzle from one direction and some look at it from another direction. We all bring out problem solving skills to the table when we do a puzzle. So in this instance, you are holding the box of the puzzle pieces and the people who are helping mommy to make sense of the puzzle are some doctors. It’s going to be your job to put your pieces to the puzzle on the table and we will figure out where they go and how they fit to make the picture make sense. So every time you tell mommy or a doctor what you feel or what is going on inside of your body, just think of it like you are handing us a puzzle piece we’ve been looking for. Then we will all work together to get this puzzle figured out.”

This made sense to her. She smiled and I know that it’s because she feels like she has a role in her own life, she is not just a spectator. She knows her voice matters to me. She knows she is going to be heard because I am going to silence the world to hear what she has to say. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God equipped me with a strong personality because he knew this girl was going to need a fighter for a mom.
My goal is to empower all of my kids to have confidence in themselves so they will speak up when they have something to say. I want them to know how to advocate for themselves and make educated decisions. I want Henley to know that there is more to life than a diagnosis and that her differences are not limitations but a platform.