Anchored

“We are anchored in his hope.” 

This phrase gives me so much comfort and pain at the same time. I miss the person who wrote those words to me just 8 days before she died. She and I only knew each other for 2 short years, but she impacted thousands of lives in her 54 years of life. God was so sweet to me by allowing me to sit at her feet and learn what it looked like to walk through un-imaginable trials all with such grace. I am so thankful to have been witness to her story. She did life well and challenged me to do the same. I believe that the Lord orchestrates meetings. He places specific people in your path to learn something from one another. Some for just a season, others for a lifetime. I feel like the Lord is constantly revealing himself to us and if we are not paying close attention we will miss something He intends for our good. Through this whole journey over the last 6 years, I have learned to be quiet(er), to (force myself to) be still, and to ask and listen to what the Lord has for me. These are no small tasks with my God-given personality being the polar opposite of some of the disciplines that bring a person such peace. 

God has been so sweet to Adam and me through this whole story. I have told countless people that I feel like He has gently walked us into the deep end since the day Henley was born. He has gone before us, he has orchestrated every meeting with every person we have come into contact with. He has protected us from too much information and given us exactly what we needed when we needed it to move us a little further down the line. I overheard someone recently say “God never shows up early, but He always shows up on time.” Just like in John chapter 6 when Jesus’ disciples left in a boat without him and headed off across the water at night to Capernaum. Just when they got out in the middle of the water a nasty storm rolled in. The next thing they know, Jesus shows up in the middle of the storm out of nowhere, walking out to them on the water and gets in the boat with them and tells them not to be afraid. Right then they made it to the shore safe and sound. I’d say He showed up right on time.

For years we have prayed and prayed for answers for different things. Some prayers God answered quickly and some we waited on. Some things we are STILL waiting on. We trust God’s timeline and know that He will give us answers when He has equipped us with the right tools and maturity to handle them. He has never given us too much all at once (although sometimes it has felt that way), but rather He has given us just enough to process and move us a little further out into the ocean. That is how I see our lives. Either on the shore, or in the water. In the shallow end or in the deep. The ocean can be a wonderful and terrifying place. When you are on the shore, it’s pretty easy to enjoy the sound of the waves and praise God for his goodness in the beautiful scenery he created. You can even forget for a minute about all of the predators living in the water that are just searching for something to devour (1 Peter 5:8). However, it’s in the deep waters where your faith gets tested. Where you are completely out of control. When you realize just how small and vulnerable you really are and just how badly you need a savior. I am constantly in need of a savior. 

I will never pretend to have it all together and I’ll be real honest, I spend a lot of time in my closet crying out to God on my knees. It’s a place where I can go and be completely un-distracted (As long as I turn the lights off so I won’t try to organize my closet while I’m in there). I can be totally quiet and just cry out to my Father. I feel like I am daily releasing control back into the hands of the Lord and submitting to Him. I am very aware that I have ZERO control over our situation. I can do the best I can, but ultimately it’s in God’s hands. Quite honestly, I think God has been trying to get me to release control my entire life. For me, it’s taking having absolutely no control over the things I love the very most to get my full cooperation. I am having to fully rely on the Lord right now because we are out in the middle of the ocean in a boat and we feel a storm coming. We know the truth of His goodness and His love for us and are resting in his promises. We know that God has us in the palm of His hands. We know that He sees us and He has our next steps already planned out. He saw these days before we were ever born. He is not surprised by anything and in control of everything. Our job is to seek him in taking our steps and to be anchored in his hope. 

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise, My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand, Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine