After a conversation with another friend of mine who's family is in the trenches of what it means to live life with Chiari, I feel compelled to write this entry.
Adam and I have been so blessed to have the support we have. I do not know what we would be doing right now if it were not for my parents, our church family and friends. I am sure this goes without saying, but neither Adam nor I have ever experienced anything so difficult in our entire lives. We both live every single day right now in a constant state of physical tension, and the responsibility never ceases. We have three children ages 4 and under, and it's safe to say that all of our worlds have been completely rocked this past year. I suppose I'm saying all this to say that if Adam and I were not both committed to running our family as a team effort, I can completely see how this would have rocked our marriage as well. The day Adam and I got married we agreed not only to our traditional vows of loving each other till death do us part, but we agreed to face life as a team. To be on the same team and to work together for a common goal. To face parenting our children as a team. To fight with each other and not against each other. To give each other grace because we are both human and flawed, and to approach life without expectations. Because when we have expectations of how we think people should respond to certain situations, we are almost always disappointed and let down by how they actually respond.
The reason I am saying all of this is because I want people to know that even with a "good marriage" going into a situation like we are in, it's still so hard when you are living every day in survival mode. For this reason we have been exponentially blessed to have the support we have received from everyone around us. I do not honestly know how we would be doing anything that we are doing right now without help with meals, childcare, laundry, cleaning, etc. The cost of those things coupled with the cost of medical bills, therapies, special foods, doctors appointments etc can just be too much to handle.
Most days I feel like we are literally in battle against satan, fighting for our family to survive. There have been specific times in this journey that I have felt like we were being backed by thousands of believers who were praying us through the battle. We also know that there are those who are standing on the front lines with us in the battle to keep our family functioning. Although this can be so lonely and it's easy to feel like no one understands what you are going through, we have been blessed to feel like people are there to listen, cry to, count on for help etc.
Through this trial in our lives we have met a few other families who are in similar situations. Families who are in the trenches right now and also fighting for their families to survive a particular battle. Families who don't feel like anyone could understand what they are going through, but need support all the same. Families who don't want to ask for help, but are dying for someone to step up and offer. Families who don't want to be a burden, but could really use a meal or a night out away from their kids to be able to re-focus.
I am saying all of this to say that there are people everywhere around you hurting. If you just open your eyes and look outside of yourself you will see it. God has called us to "Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galations 6:2. What I am asking is for you to be present. Be an active part in the kingdom of God. Be an active part in someone else's life. Don't think that "someone else is probably calling, texting, taking care of them". Don't think "I don't even know these people very well, they will think its weird". Just step up and do something. You don't have to necessarily cook a fabulous meal and take it over to them, we live in a world where people deliver. You can send emails in a second. You can send gift cards and a note. I can honestly say that some of the most encouraging messages I have received have come from people who I have never met and will probably never meet.
So please, if you are reading this, pray that God opens your eyes to what is around you. Encourage someone today. Send help, offer help. Send a text or an email. Let someone know you are praying for them. You can probably count on the fact that you will be the only encouragement someone gets today. Do not be idle in the kingdom because that is exactly what satan is counting on you to do.